My Good Friend Lu
by BillSiruisLeStrange
Summary: WBWL. Due to Dumbledore's mistake, Harry was not called Boy-Who-Lived, his brother, Christopher Alex Potter was named it. Then in the Department of Mysteries in Harry's Fifth year, Christopher 'accidentally' knocked Harry through the Vail. Now Heaven and Hell will show the Wizarding World the true controlled power of one P***ed off Harry James Potter. H/DG/Hr Dumbles/Potter Bash
1. Chapter 1: Nice Office

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story, except the ones that arn't in JKR books, and even then, I dont own them. sad.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

_Pensive Memories_

_Parssstletongueee_

* * *

**Chapter 1: Nice Office**

'This is a nice sofa; in fact it is probably THE comfiest sofa I have ever sat on in my sad lonely life'

"Mr. Potter…"

'Soft leather cushions that shape to my arse…hang on…that's a nice desk in front of me as well'

"Mr. Potter…"

'Mahogany I suspect, look at the fine detail on tha…'

"MR. POTTER!"

"Yes what? I was just admiring your furniture in your office whilst we wait for the other two 'guests' to arrive!" Harry Potter looked up from the dark brown desk in front of him to peer at the man sat behind the ever so nice Mahogany desk.

"Whilst I appreciate the compliments to my office, the other 'guests' have arrived" Harry stared at the man behind the desk for a couple of seconds before he looked to his right; another man wearing a white three piece suit slouched with one leg over the arm of the sofa, he had bare feet and some gloopy black liquid dripped from them and singed the white wooden floor below. His eyes slightly sunken into his skull, they had a grey misty colour to them, but seemed old, extremely old. He also had short combed grey hair, however there was something about this man that scared Harry witless; the evil grin baring slightly pointed teeth that in fact were immaculate; in his left hand he had a glass of Whiskey.

"Hi…" Said the grinning man in a soft tone but had a definite edge to it, he sipped on his Whiskey then went back to grinning at Harry.

"Um…Hello…"

"Do you know who I am?" He asked leaning slightly towards Harry his grey eyes looking into Harry's Avada Kedavra green.

"Well…" Harry looked the man up and down "You are certainly not the guy who cleans out the toilets in this place that I know…" This made the man chuckle, and then he looked over Harry's shoulder, scowled slightly and took a bigger gulp on his Whiskey.

"Ah. So my previous boss thought that he was too important to come down and meet the boy…" Harry flinched slightly at 'boy'; the man in front seemed to notice in in his peripheral vision and narrowed his eyes before going back to his sentence. "…so he brings down you, who would probably shag the guy's leg if you were a dog." He smirked again at his insult, Harry turned to see the man on his left of the sofa.

Harry raised an eyebrow at the lack of clothing this man wore, some white sweatpants, he also had bare feet, but he had two white loose chains that went around both wrists and each had a black cross hanging from them. This man had a few tattoos of markings scattered across his torso and arms (which by the way were very muscular), unlike the man on Harry's right, this man was not smiling, his face was emotionless and his Ocean Blue eyes stared at Harry like he was scanning his thoughts, his hair was different to the short combed grey hair, this man had hair that flowed down to his shoulders and was a deep almond colour. With a voice that would make Neville Longbottom wet himself with the reminder of his Boggart, he replied.

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Haaaa. You have always been the witty one, yes, jokes thrown left, right and centre with you around, can hardly breathe from them…" The words were literally dripping with sarcasm. Then Harry noticed something that made his eyes open a little more than before, this man had a slight shimmer of light hovering just above his head, it was a shape of a hollowed out Frisbee…a halo, it moved up and down as the man breathed.

"Obviously I am the funny one, with you around, and with your head stuck up so far up his ass, I bet the only good thing that he gets from you is the offer for a blow jo…"The other man was cut short from a loud and sharp "AHEM" coming from the man behind the nice Mahogany desk in front of the three people on the nice sofa.

"I am sure Mr. Potter…"

"Harry, please, it seems we have gone past formalities, quite far actually" Harry said glancing left and right at the two men throwing insults at each other.

"Yes, well, I am sure you would like to know who I am, and more importantly the two Juvenile 'guests' sat either side of you"

"Hey!" The two men exclaimed in unison, Harry got a better look of the man sat behind the desk; like the man on Harry's right, this man was wearing a three piece suit, which was completely black with a thin red tie, his face was thin, almost skull-like, he had pale skin that seemed to slightly stretched over his face, it seemed to be more of a full head latex mask than actual skin; Harry could not see the man's eyes due to the small square shades that were on the bridge of his nose, he was completely bald. As the man placed his hands onto the nice Mahogany desk, Harry saw that he was wearing black leather gloves; however, Harry swore that he had seen a flash of white bone of his wrist.

"Well…" Harry looked back up into the man's shades searching for eye movement but finding none "…it would be nice to know, however I am sensing that the topless, woman haired oddball on my left is something like an Angel" The man on Harry's right snorted whilst the oddball on his left wasn't affected by the insult from Harry he just kept repeating "Like" under his breath.

"I guess it's the Halo above him that gave it away wasn't it…" Harry nodded "…you are correct, however he is not 'something like an Angel' he is an Angel" Harry's mouth went slack, he was sitting next to a real angel, a real Angel; Harry then turned to look at the Angel sat next to him, he looked him up and down again, before, which startled everyone in the man's office, Harry started laughing out loud.

"Please, PLEASE, tell me that not all male Angels look like this guy next to me, I would actually go with the look that the-guy-who-stood-in-tar has got" Harry jerked his thumb to the man on his right, who still had a broad grin on his face.

"Harry, you, again in the last minute have just insulted God's personal Angel. Angel Gabriel" Harry's breath got stuck in his throat.

'Oh shit' he thought 'well that's one way ticket downwards for me' Harry squirmed in his seat, inching ever so slightly to the man on his right.

"And the man who has not stopped grinning so far and has somehow got into my personal Whiskey cabinet…AGAIN! Is none other than Lucifer himself" Now Harry nearly fainted, he slowly turned to look at the man on his right again, still he was grinning, he held out his right hand for Harry to take.

"Hi, yep, the one and only Lucifer, pleasure to meet you Harry" Instead of a grin, he was wearing an actual smile; slowly Harry took Lucifer's hand, his hand was hot to the touch, it made Harry flinch in shock, but he let go after shake.

"Hel…waits…am I dead!?" Harry exclaimed looking back at the man behind the desk, he pushed his hand through his black ruffled hair.

"Ding-ding, we have a winner…" Gabriel drawled, Lucifer let out a slow breath, Harry was starting to shake.

"Yes, thus I am Death; and your wide eyes expected a hooded figure with a Scythe. No?" Harry slowly nodded his eyes wide and tears in the corner of his eyes.

"I wear that for celebratory conventions, get a cold breeze down south with that on, and I know it's upsetting that you are leaving your friends and fam…" Harry held up his hand to cut him off before Death finished his last word.

"I do not consider myself nor does my family acknowledge me as a Potter, so therefore I am Harry no-name, this is quite a happy moment for me actually, I have finally left that cruel world behind, and truthfully, as long as I don't go back, I would go with either of these gentleman; Gabriel because of the opportunities that have been shown throughout the human world and even if I was unwillingly taken by Lucifer, nothing, I mean nothing will be as painful as your own Mother telling you to 'shut up' when you are in tears, your Father not buying you any presents for your Birthday or Christmas and both of you parents ignoring you since you were one year old, whilst my famous brother gets everything…" Harry practically screamed the final part; all three men around Harry felt an unnatural gust pickup around Harry, making the objects on Death's desk shake and Gabriel's hair float. Sparks were crackling around him and Death could see two emotions battling within Harry's green eyes; fur and sadness.

"Harry, if you would please calm down, I would honestly love to keep my Office in one piece" Death said soothingly making Harry breathe slower.

"Have you seen that night? Halloween 1981? The night my parents went to a ball with me and my prick brother on my own? The nights were EVERYTHING changed to utter shit for me?" Harry spat, the three men shook their heads and Death pulled out from under his desk a Pensive and placed it upon his desk.

"Show us Harry" A wand appeared in Harry's hand and Harry concentrated on the night.

"Perfect Recall memory helps a lot" He muttered, whilst a thick white strand came from Harry's temple and he placed into the liquid mist that was in the Pensive; he swirled it a bit before, he motioned everyone to enter it; Harry himself entered to see their reactions.

* * *

_Pensive Memory: Halloween 1981, Godric's Hollow, Potter House, Nursery_

_Death, Gabriel, Lucifer and Harry landed on their feet in Harry's and his brother's nursery. All four people could see two cots and two baby boys peering up at a hooded man. Harry said 'Pause' and the memory paused._

"_I am the one in the right cot, whilst Christopher is in the other one, you already have probably guessed that the hooded fellow in front of us with his Yew wand out is Voldemort" The three men nodded, Baby Harry had bright shining green eyes full of curiosity and wonder, he had a little bit of a black tuff on his head, he looked emotionless. Whereas his brother, Baby Christopher, had dull deep brown eyes that held shock and sacredness, he had a little tuff of red hair, unlike Baby Harry; Baby Christopher's face was contorted in the middle of a scream. Harry said 'Resume' and Baby Christopher's high pitched wail entered their ears._

"_Shush you pathetic piece of worthless scum!" Bellowed Voldemort, he walked closer towards the cots, he stopped and stared at the wailing Christopher before turning to look at the emotionless Harry._

"_I shall kill you first; I will take a lot more pleasure in killing him last, screaming shit!" Voldemort raised his wand at Baby Harry who now tilted his head to the right in suspicion._

"_AVADA KEDAVRA" The green light of the Killing Curse, erupted from Voldemort's wand, lighting up the room around whilst it sped towards Baby Harry, who had now stood up and held onto the bars of his cot. The spell hit Harry, enveloping him in the green curse, before the impossible become possible, the Killing Curse that everyone feared, shot back at Voldemort, whose hood dropped from the wind from the curse, his blood red eyes went wide as the Killing Curse hit him in the chest, the final sound that came from him was:_

"_Oh…" before Voldemort himself blew up, his wand flying across the room and striking Baby Christopher on his forehead, knocking him out cold. Like his Brother, Baby Harry slowly succumbed to blackness._

_The four people did not exit the Pensive however._

"_Skipping twenty minutes, however you won't see anything" Harry said waving his hand around in the blackness._

_Three Cracks rung the darkness around them, then a scream went off around them._

"_OH FUCKING HELL!" A man's voice called, everyone looked at Harry who mouthed 'James Potter', and they nodded in return._

"_My Babies!" Again they looked at Harry you gave them a figure-it-out-dumbass look, and again they nodded._

"_Oh dear, look at him James, look at Christopher's forehead"_

"_What does that mean Albus? Here is…Voldemort's wand…" James said, they could hear rubble being moved._

"_Albus, does this mean that the Prophecy is true?!" Lily Potter said, picking up a now wailing Christopher._

"_Yes, I'm afraid so…Christopher Alex Potter is the Boy-Who-Lived, that mark on his forehead proves that he was hit with the Killing Curse, I am sensing large amount of backlash in this room, Voldemort has been destroyed…" Albus finished._

"_What about Harry?" Lily Asked, more wailing came closer to Harry and a warm touch was placed on Baby Harry's forehead._

"_He…I'm afraid…will have to be kept safe as well and controlled as Jealousy may come as he realises what his brother has done"_

"_We understand" James and Lily said in Unison._

"_Now, let's go and find Mr. Pettigrew, I would like a chat with him…" The voices in the room slowly dulled into hushed tones then nothing as all four people came out of the Pensive._

_Pensive Memory End_

* * *

Harry looked at the reactions of the immortal men in the room, Death was emotionless, Gabriel was scowling, in thought and Lucifer looked kind of pissed off.

"If that long bearded twat had just scanned you then he would have realised that Christopher just got debris damage" Lucifer growled, the Whiskey glass shattered but disappeared before it hit the floor.

"That was, enlightening, well we understand completely now, however we will have to jump forward until an hour ago and we will be watching my memory for this one" Death held his gloved finger to his forehead and pulled out a memory, then like Harry he placed it into the liquid mist and stirred.

'Well let's watch my death, it will be shits and giggles' Harry thought.


	2. Chapter 2: Christopher Alex Pratter

Disclaimer: I don't own nuffink. cries to sleep.

"Talking"

'Thoughts'

_'Parssstleetongueee'_

* * *

**Chapter 2: Christopher Alex Pratter**

_Death's Pensive Memory, Flying Alongside Harry Potter in the Department of Mysteries, One Hour ago or Ten Minutes Before Falling Through Veil of Death_

"…_I'M TELLING YOU CHRISSY, THAT I HAD A VISION WHERE VOLDEMORT WAS TORTURING MY GODFATHER" Harry screamed as he ran down a black corridor with his Prat of a brother just behind him._

"_HANG ON….WHY DID YOU GET THE VISION OF __YOUR GODFATHER__ BEING TORTURED WHEN I, CHRISTOPHER…" Harry bursts through a door, pulls Christopher with him into the archway room "…ALEX POTTER IS THE BOY-WHO-LIVED? AND WHY DID THE PROPHECY HAVE YOUR NAME ON IT?! IT SHOULD BE MY NAME!" Christopher wailed just as Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley (who is still giggling) and Daphne Greengrass topple through several other doors around the room with curses flying over them._

_Harry doubled over, gasping for air, yes he maybe on Ravenclaw's Quidditch Team but you still don't do any stamina building exercises when you are going to be on a broom. He looked up at the equally out of breath Christopher, then looked around the room, his heart went instantly cold._

"_Ah Shit…" He moaned. Around the room with wands pointed at their throats were his two friends and Christopher's friends; behind them individually was a hooded Death Eater._

"_Itty Bitty Potter, all out of breathy, want a minute dear before you give us the prophecy?" Bellatrix Lestrange sneered behind Neville, Christopher puffed his chest out and aimed his wand at (Kind of) Bellatrix._

"_If you want the Prophecy to do with me and V-V-V…You-Know-Who…" Harry rolled his eyes and stood up a bit straighter aiming his wand just above McNair who was holding Daphne "…you'll have to fight me to get it!" Christopher then he cried 'Stupify!', a stunner flew towards Neville and Bellatrix, which was about ten inches to far downwards and caught Neville in his collarbone making him crumple to the ground and making Bellatrix burst out laughing._

"_CHRISTOPHER YOU ARSEHOLE, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU, AIM BEFORE YOU FIRE…" Harry roared as he aimed at couple of tiles above McNair then silently he cast an overpowered 'Bombarda', the tiles above McNair erupted and flew straight down; at the same time Harry had close the gap between him and Daphne, he grabbed her around the waist and yanked her to the floor, laying himself on top of her thus protecting her from the debris. McNair unfortunately looked up and a particular sharp piece of Tile fell straight through the eye hole of his mask; blood erupted from the eye piercing and McNair screamed._

"_YOU FILTHY LITTLE HALF-BLOOD" Bellatrix screamed and threw several Killing Curses at the two people on the floor, Harry who had amazing Seeker senses, rolled him and Daphne away; he could feel the Killing Curses wiz past his body. Christopher, the poor wee little lamb, fired some more stunners at Bellatrix and missed her completely; she did not react at these failed attempts at all as she swore aloud at missing her target._

"_Bella, do you mind not swearing at my Godson?" a ruff voice said softly behind her, even though he wasn't shouting, Sirius Black could be heard all the way round the archway room._

"_Blood-Trai…" CRACK Sirius swung his elbow into Bellatrix's nose, breaking it into a spray of blood. Harry had pulled Daphne up, said some soft reassuring words into her ear as one by one the Death Eaters behind each of the students dodged curses sent by the Order, Dumbledore and Madam Bones. Daphne nodded into Harry's chest then ran behind a rock to hide with the others._

"_Christopher, why are you here?!" Dumbledore asked as he sent two blue bolts of lightning at two of the Death Eaters. Christopher limped over to Dumbledore and sent some more stunners in any direction, hoping to get one._

"_I overheard Harry saying that Voldemort is torturing his godfather in the room with all lots of spheres in the Department of Mysteries, I obviously knew that it was the prophecy room, which means You-Know-Who was after a prophecy that was meant for me, but I still don't get why You-Know-Who sent a vision of Sirius Black, Harry's Godfather being tortured instead of Remus who is my Godfather…" He trailed off as Dumbledore and Christopher watched Harry put McNair out of his misery by stamping on the piece of tile that was sticking out of his eye, a loud slicing sound echoed the battles around them. Dumbledore shuddered at the sound whilst Christopher went green._

"_I'm going to ask him!" Christopher shouted running over to his brother who was in combat with Lucius Malfoy and another Death Eater alongside his Godfather a bit too close to the archway. Harry slashed his wand upwards was silently thinking of 'Diffindo', the left arm of Malfoy sprung away from the rest of his body, bone cracked and chunks of muscles shredded into fine pieces scattering the floor; Malfoy screamed whilst twisting on the spot completely missing Harry's second 'Diffindo' which was aimed for his neck._

"_WHY DOES THE PROPHECY HAVE YOUR NAME ON IT INSTEAD OF MINE AND WHY DID YOU-KNOW-WHO SEND A VISION OF HIM…" Christopher jerked his thumb over his shoulder at Sirius who had just catapulted the other Death Eater into the wall creating a loud crunching noise "…INSTEAD OF ME, THE BOY-WHO-LIVED; YOUR JUST AN KNOW-IT-ALL BOOKWORM WHO NOBODY LOVES! I DEFEATED YOU-KNOW-WH…" Harry cut Christopher off, his green eyes blazing with fire; Dumbledore had rounded up the last of the Death Eaters and collected James and Lily (who came with the Order) to watch the confrontation between the two brothers. James had a smirk on his face whenever his favourite son shouted at his brother, Lily looked a little distraught, whether it was from fighting or the fire in Harry's eyes and Dumbledore watched in curiosity._

"_You really believe that you defeated Voldemort that Halloween nights don't you, just because the great and all powerful ALBUS-FUCKING-TOO-MANY-GOD-DAMN-NAMES-DUMBLEDORE said so. Whereas this know-it-all has photographic memory since he was born, and was not asleep that night! I can tell the whole encounter of that night and I cannot remember seeing Dumbledork in that room at all, it was just Voldemort, you and me, you were screaming your head off as soon as he entered the Nursery!..." At that moment, Voldemort Apperated into the archway room unseen by all, so he did what everyone else was doing, he watched the row "…You were giving him such a headache that he was going to kill you last so that he will take more pleasure out of it, so he aimed his wand at me!" Christopher was getting madder and madder by the second, how could his brother know, Voldemort hit him first, he had the scar to prove it, then at the last sentence Christopher snapped just as Voldemort was came into view for everyone else to see, he brought his wand up but stopped as Christopher screamed:_

"_YOU LYING SHIT, I AM THE BOY-WHO-LIVED, I DEFEATED YOU-KNOW-YOU, I BET YOU MADE UP THIS 'PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY' JUST TO SAY THAT YOU WERE THE ONE, FUCK YOU HARRY, GO ROT IN A HOLE!" Christopher screamed and pushed Harry towards the archway, where he tripped and fell through disappearing instantly. Voldemort, who had watched the whole thing smirked at the stupidity of the second Potter son and literally cackled when he saw Harry fall through the archway. Dumbledore who had seen Voldemort come into show and watched the whole confrontation between the brothers closed his eyes and took a deep breath, he Albus Dumbledore had just realised what he had done, and he knew of course what Photographic Memory was. James and Lily went silent as they watched their second son push Harry into the archway and disappear from sight. Madam Bones was stock still from both sights of Voldemort and the sight of Christopher Alex Potter pushing his brother, Harry James Potter through the Veil of Death. Everyone else screamed in fright of seeing Voldemort or in Sirius Blacks, Daphne Greengrass, Luna Lovegoods and surprisingly Hermione Grangers case, wept from seeing the Raven Haired boy no-man, fall into the archway and not come out of the other side._

_Suddenly there were several popping sounds and Minister Fudge alongside several Aurors Apperated into the deathly silent room; the first thing Fudge saw was Voldemort._

"_He's back…" _

_End of Pensive Memory_

The four men sat in silence for a minute, before Gabriel broke it.

"Well, I don't know about you Death, but a boy that thick headed does not even deserve to be in Heaven or even…" He gulped "…Hell, for that matter" Lucifer nodded grimly, Death looked indifferent and Harry had tears from seeing Sirius and his friends crying at his death.

"Well thank you for showing me the aftermath of my death" Harry sniffed and wiped the tears away then took a deep breath to carry on. "So why are these two here?" He gestured towards Gabriel and Lucifer. Death shifted in his seat a little bit.

"Because Harry, I and so does him upstairs and Lucifer here, believe that you should not be crossing over yet, which brings me to the little matter of what those two are here for" Lucifer grinned again and Gabriel actually smiled. "We believe that you should go back, with a bit more….training…than what you had before; yes stunning spells are all well and good but we think that you should have your own personal hunting license to get rid of Voldemort and his Lackeys, so once this convocation has done you will be going off with Gabriel and Lucifer here till the first of September to train and build your collection in ways to kill." Lucifer started bouncing in n the sofa, Gabriel sneered at his enthusiasm.

"But first we need to do some Rituals so that you won't hurt too much from your training" Death smiled evilly and Harry gulped.


End file.
